Finding yourself undesirably single is one of life's great frustrations. And that frustration is all the more painful when you happen to be the only single person in your group of friends.

It is quite hard to avoid the feelings of jealousy, insecurity or downright anger you feel when seemingly everyone else in the world is in a relationship. Though your friendly neighborhood Mystery Man can't change how your emotions work, I can at least give you some pointers on how to live your life as the lone single in the group when you hate being the lone single in the group.

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Four Rules For Being The Single Friend


Don't Talk About How Jealous You Are - Comments like "Oh, that trip sounded nice. I wish I had someone to travel with." or "You've got a great guy. I hope I get a guy soon." may seem like harmless banter. But it paints the picture of a forlorn person that is drowning in a sea of jealousy. Even if you think you're being nice, don't talk to your dating or married friends like they're living in paradise and you're wandering the deserts alone. It's easy to forget about the good life you have when you're focused on the seemingly better life everyone else has.


Remember That You're Not The Third (Or Fifth, Or Seventh) Wheel - If a friend invites you out to a party where you think you'll be the only single person there, don't use your singleness as an excuse to stay in. Go to the party. You are not a third (or fifth, or seventh) wheel. Friends invite friends to parties because they want them there. They want to be with you because they enjoy their company. No one will notice, mind or care about the fact that you're at a party/movie/book club/group vacation solo. Live your life as a single person. Don't hide from it.


Don't Feel Like You're Missing Out Or Falling Behind - Life isn't a contest, even though it may feel like one sometimes. No one is keeping score or comparing statistics. If you are the only single friend, or the only person not engaged or married, you aren't losing at life. You aren't falling behind. Things happen when they will, so you shouldn't waste time and energy fretting over a perceived achievement gap. Everyone's experiences are different. You will have joys that your friends will not, and they will have joys that you will not. And that is fine.


Keep Being Who You Are - Being in a relationship doesn't define you. Your interests, passions and experiences do. Your friends like you for who you are, and you should like yourself for who you are too. Embrace your characteristics, and don't let the "odd man out" syndrome you may be suffering from to impact them. Someone will come along, but even no one does, you'll be alright. Even if everyone else is married.